Sun At His Back
by Phoebe Miller
Summary: 10.14 coda


_**The Doubt Monster almost won this fight, my dear readers. I hope you enjoy. **_

* * *

Steve let go of Adam. Nothing about the hug felt genuine. It was stiff and perfunctory.

Anger boiled deep within Steve. He felt a cycle repeating, and he wanted to scream. He'd given so much to Adam. So many chances.

_Clear his head._ That was a special kind of bullshit.

Steve wasn't buying what Adam was selling but he wasn't ready to get into it. Not after the day he'd had. Steve needed to talk to –

_Danny._

Something hit Steve in the gut. His vision whited out for a half a second.

He felt his pocket for his phone.

No phone.

_Shit._ Where was it?

Eddie. He'd set his phone down earlier after calling Lou to thank him.

Wait - why hadn't he called Danny to update about Eddie?

The girl at the bar.

Maybe he'd hold off. Opportunities didn't come around too often. Not for either of them.

And Steve didn't want to jinx – or – interrupt.

But there was something nagging him. A feeling he never ignored.

Steve needed to check his phone. For work. He was on call. Not Lou. Not Danny.

_Danny._

Steve raced up the steps to find his phone, ignoring the questions from Tani and Quinn.

/././

"Wait Steve." Duke held Steve back. "Danny's pretty rough."

Impatient and worried, Steve took this slight delay personally. He all but snapped at Duke. "I thought his injuries weren't serious."

Duke ignored the attitude. He kept his cool like a pro. "His passenger didn't survive."

Steve closed his eyes. _Shit._ The girl from the bar. Hand over his mouth, he caught his breath.

"And there's something, Steve, that didn't go out over the scanner."

Steve didn't hear Duke. He was already on the move. Toward his partner and answers.

He walked into the room. Not understanding what he was seeing at first. Danny's posture was off. Too rigid in bed. His whole body tense. And his lips were moving.

After a hiccup of disbelief, Steve's brain caught up with his eyes.

Danny was restrained. And mumbling something.

Steve rushed into the room. "Who did this to you, buddy? Oh god. Danny? It's Steve. Look at me."

Bloodshot eyes met his and locked.

"724." Danny rasped, tugging on his bonds ever so much before fading completely out.

"Okay, Danno. 724. I got it." Steve fought to control his breathing. He reached for the restraints, disgusted. "Let me get these off."

"Stop sir." A voice from the doorway startled Steve. He didn't realize he had an audience. "They're for his own good. The restraints. Doctor's orders."

Steve backed away from the bed and followed the nurse into the hall, ready to fight. Except he was a little dizzy in addition to being pissed. "His own good? Explain. Now."

"I'm afraid I can't remove the restraints without word from his doctor. I advise you to hear him out."

Confused and exasperated, Steve spun around to Duke who was still waiting. "Duke, I need some info here. What happened?"

"He refused aid." Duke kept his voice steady. Just the facts. "He was combative at the scene."

"Combative? Danny?" Steve sighed, shaking his head. "Ok. Something you should have told me first."

"I apologize, Steve."

"It's alright, Duke, really. I didn't give you the chance."

"No hard feelings." Duke's phone buzzed. "I need to get this. I'm expecting more information from –"

"It's okay. Fill me in when you know more. Thanks." Steve turned back to the nurse. "It's not good for Danny to be – he's-"

Steve hesitated to reveal Danny's phobia. It was personal and something he held close.

"I get it, sir, but he's a danger to himself and others. He –"

Steve held up his hand. "Stop, please. I can guess how he is. A woman he just met dies in a vehicle he was driving. Before his eyes. While waiting for help. Right? How would you feel?"

"Steve, wait." Duke tried to calm the situation as he pocketed his phone.

"I'm sorry." Steve took a big breath and composed himself. "Do we know what happened?"

"Driver ran them off the road. Probably on their phone. Danny had a partial plate and vehicle description. Nothing else coherent, according to EMTs and the unit that responded."

"Ok. So give the info to my team. I'll take it from here."

/././

_Earlier_

_The hot sun on his back made it real. That's all he felt. Not the pain of his body or losing the girl of his dreams minutes before help arrived. _

_He felt nothing. Just the sun._

_He walked. One step, two. Not thinking. Not hearing. Vision tunneled. _

_He didn't know her name. Was she even real? Or was she a dream?_

_Blood on his hands and clothes told him she was. _

_And she was gone. Just like that. _

_He met the girl of his dreams and she died in a car accident. One he caused. He shoulda – Danny stopped himself. Or rather a voice in his head stopped him. Steve. He needed Steve._

_But he had somewhere to go first. Where was he going? _

_Voices behind him steadily got closer. Calling his name. Shouting questions. Gibberish. His vision blurred, and he panicked. Why was he on this road?_

_Accident. Girl of his dreams. Dead._

_Hands were on him. He shrugged them off. Had to keep going. Steve needed help with Eddie._

_The voices were insistent. Hands grew more eager and strong. Stopping him. _

_He fought back. Knocked someone to the ground. He kept going. Tears now streaming down his face._

_Why couldn't they leave him alone? Why couldn't life leave him alone?_

_He didn't want them. Didn't need them. Help that didn't come but did. Help that didn't get there in time._

_He told them to back off. _

_They didn't listen._

_An HPD vehicle boxed him in. He was trapped. He struggled. Until a sharp pinch dropped him to his knees. Then came a welcome nothing. _

/././

The doctor was young. A man Steve didn't recognize. And he was in way over his head.

"Besides the concussion, assorted minor contusions and lacerations and sprained ankle, Detective Williams should be fine."

Steve loomed over the doctor, frown cutting deep. "Except for the fact that you handcuffed my partner to the bed."

"I wouldn't go that far, Commander McGarrett. The restraints are humane."

"Humane? Are you being serious?"

The hallway seemed to stretch and expand, as Steve fought to control the urge to grab the young man by the collar.

The doctor sensed his imminent trouncing and explained his decision. "He was a danger –"

"-to himself and others." Steve waved his hand indignantly. "I keep getting that response."

"Someone on scene felt it necessary."

"Someone," Steve growled. "Overreacted."

"You weren't there."

"Neither were you."

They glared at one another. The doctor backed up a few steps.

Steve was done with excuses. "Are you going to free him? Or do I have to do it my way?"

"Sir, I cannot release him until I see marked improvement."

"He hasn't hurt anyone." Steve's voice grew steadily louder.

"Keep your voice down or you'll wake the whole floor. Please." The doctor blocked the doorway. "Don't make me call HPD."

Steve smiled at the challenge and brushed past the guy. Hard.

/././

"Danny, buddy. Tell me. What is it?"

"724. Grey sedan. Or silver." His voice trailed off for a second. "Caucasian male. Young."

Steve already knew this but he listened intently. He squeezed Danny's forearm. "Tani and Quinn are working on it."

"Ok. Good." Danny's eyes drifted closed again.

He'd repeated the same thing to Steve at the last concussion check. He was on a loop.

Steve would be glad when he could stop waking his friend up. Danny needed some solid sleep. What was coming next when awareness fully set in would be a monster.

Before settling in for the night, Steve took a break only to update the team and grab some coffee from the nurse's lounge. It helped that they knew him, though honestly being that well known sucked on too many levels.

/././

"She was perfect."

"Danny?" Steve looked up from his hands. Danny hadn't spoken in hours, and then it had only been to ask for water.

"Perfect." Danny sighed.

"I'm so sorry, buddy."

Danny sobbed his next unintelligible words. Steve's eyes watered too though he didn't cry. He hardened his heart and stood in the breach. No one would hurt his best friend tonight. He'd been through enough.

/././

"She was perfect, and I watched her die."

Danny kept repeating himself, and Steve wasn't sure he should say anything. So he didn't. He let his best friend talk.

"Just like that. We were talking and -"

Stopping to rub his face, Danny was running close to breaking down again. When he lifted his head, his mouth twitched into a smile.

"I don't know her name. Isn't that crazy? We said no names or work stuff."

Steve smiled. He knew the girl's details. He hadn't found the opening to tell Danny yet. Especially since Danny just kept rambling.

"She told me it was gonna work out for me, Steven. How would she know?" Anger crept into Danny's voice. Which was a change. "Why would she say that?"

"Maybe she knew?" Steve blurted and regretted it.

"Knew what? That she was dying? Huh? Oh you wanna think she could see the future? Being close to death gave her super powers?"

The sharpness of Danny's response cut deep but Steve couldn't stop.

"People say things, Danny." _When they're dying._

Danny licked his lips and crossed his arms over his chest. He was done. Steve didn't push. He took the needed break to regroup. This could be a long night.

/././

"You were right about life's terms."

Steve blinked. He'd fallen asleep.

The room was almost dark. Lights dimmed against Danny's mammoth headache.

"Life's terms?" Steve sat up straight, rubbing his eyes. He hoped he hadn't missed much of this conversation.

Danny replied with a little annoyance. Like Steve should know what he meant. "We don't get to choose. Except how we react."

It hit Steve. He remembered his words to Danny in that DC hotel. When he'd been at his darkest.

He'd known Danny wouldn't let him drown.

"Hey, Earth to Steven. I'm the only one allowed to space out." Danny tossed an empty cup at Steve.

Steve flashed a faint smile before sobering. "I'm sorry about your girl."

"She wasn't –" Danny dipped his head. "Thank you."

"Tell me about her. If you're up to it."

Danny's breath hitched a little. "She – she was great. She didn't put up with my shit. She liked baseball. Can you believe she was from the East coast? Even dressed like it."

Steve nodded in the dark. He wished he'd met her.

Danny laughed. "She was me. When I first got here. Without the baggage. Except –" He stopped. "I don't know if she had any baggage. I don't know – we had a quickie in the bathroom and I don't know –"

One of those godforsaken giggles that Steve hated bubbled up from Danny. He waited it out. He was stuck on the quickie part. "You and her – you – in the bathroom? At the Chart House? How –"

"You're a grownup, babe. You know how you-" Danny smiled and then winced like it hurt. "Unless that's the reason you can't keep a date."

/././

Danny sat on the edge of the bed, dressed to leave, his ankle wrapped. His duffel beside him. Crutches leaned against the nightstand where he could reach them. It was all too ordinary. He still wasn't over the shock of it all.

"Take me home, please."

"That's the plan. Eddie misses you." Steve rubbed his hands together.

"No – my place."

Steve took a breath. He didn't want to snap at Danny. "No can do. Doctor's orders. Someone needs to-"

"I do not need a babysitter."

"You have a concussion." _And the girl of your dreams died in your car._

"I'm fine."

"Liar."

"What?" Danny was surprised by the pointed response. They normally didn't cut right to the chase. "I'm a liar now?"

"You are not fine, Danny. Nowhere near it."

Danny wrinkled his nose, uncomfortable. "Take me home or I'll call a cab."

"Not gonna happen." Arms over his chest, Steve held firm. Jaw tensing, teeth grinding.

Danny glared but didn't add to the argument. He was biding his time. His whole body ached. He welcomed the discomfort, though. The physical pain kept him from dwelling on anything else.

"You lied about mold to keep an eye on me. I'm now returning the favor."

"By holding me hostage?" Danny raised his voice, but it didn't matter. And he knew it.

"Whatever it takes, buddy. Whatever it takes." Steve knew he'd won this battle.

Danny reached for the crutches and allowed Steve to help him to his feet. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, but you know the drill." Steve pointed to the wheelchair by the door."

"Oh come on."

"Nope, not negotiable."

Rolling his eyes, Danny hobbled to the chair and sat down with a huff.

"You woulda liked her."

Steve didn't have to ask who Danny meant. "Yea, buddy. I bet. She picked you."

"How do you know I didn't pick her up?"

"Because you were brooding over Rachel, and I know how you get."

Squinting at Steve, Danny shook his head. "You know how I get, huh?"

"Yes, I know how you get." Steve stopped pushing. "I've known you for ten years now. I know too many things. Including the fact that you snore."

"I do not snore. Edward the Great snores."

Steve resumed their trek to freedom with a laugh. "Do not blame that godawful sound on my dog."

The bickering was familiar and soothing. For both of them. Danny reached for Steve over his shoulder, and Steve grabbed Danny's hand. No more words were necessary.

* * *

_**Thanks, as always, for reading. What a tough episode. I wasn't sure I was gonna share this. Still not completely happy with it. I hope you enjoyed the ride.**_


End file.
